green pastures

when you let a child imagine

shane and i went to “Bedtime with the Beasts” - a program at the Knoxville Zoo that allows kids to sleepover and get private tours - this weekend with 13 kids under the age of 12 and a bunch of other brave adults. and while on the tours and spending time with the kids, there was one child that was particularly imaginative. and it made me wonder - between the telling them not to look the gorilla in the eye or to stop running through the misters - what about these kids now will be a part of them and their unique God-given purpose in their future? Like, is imagination in that super imaginative boy a quality that God is refining to use in that boy’s future? and will that boy ever remember how at an early age the types of games he would make up and how that was evidence of God creating him in such a unique way and for such a unique purpose?

i wondered that and then i thought about two distinct childhood memories, and now i wonder whether they are evidence of God uniquely designing me for my purpose now.

one was when i was in third grade and won a writing competition for a story i wrote about characters in heaven. no one would read that now and claim it to be theologically correct, but i choose to believe that was evidence of God setting eternity in my heart. to which i later responded with bigger questions and giving my life to Christ.

the second memory was when i was in sixth grade and i did an art project that earned me placement in a special art class. we had to take a piece of construction paper and tear it to create a piece of art. it wasn’t that i was chosen for this special art class that makes me think this time in my life is an example of how God was uniquely creating me. it was what i created that stands out - a cut out figure of people holding hands around the world. when i think about that, it makes me smile - God created a love of other cultures and the world at an early age. my heart longed for it before i even knew to long for it. or what the purpose of loving other cultures could be for.

what an imagination God has.

Hebrews. 2.

Representative - Hebrews 2 talks about Jesus as older brother, representative, pioneer/founder and high priest. Jesus is all those things. Hebrews 2 is a beautiful reminder of how Christ accomplished for us salvation - freedom from the slavery of being afraid of death. It says that Jesus was flesh and blood like us and perfected salvation through suffering - to defeat death and the devil.

And in all those different roles, He’s my and our representative. He advocates to the father for us and he suffered so I wouldn’t have to die.

i love you too.

was listening to a clip from Beth Moore who implored us to, anytime we were overwhelmed with love for God, to say “i love you too” because we never get those feelings without first being covered with love FROM God. Loving God is something we cannot do on our own. It’s divine. And we love because God first loved us. Heard that scripture from John so many times, but the act of saying “i love you too” takes my breath away.

When you don’t know the answer

Lord, I don’t know what is right and what is wrong. Help your Church to be faithful and in love with Christ. Give us hearts to follow you and love each other. #pcusa

Park

About to go to my last service at Park as a citizen of Chicago in this single season of my life. I say all those qualifiers in the event God brings me and Shane back to this city, in another time. 

I remember more than 5 years ago going to a 5:30 p.m. service at Francis Parker’s auditorium, and for months I came and I went - without talking to a soul. I prayed for a church home. And once I finally stayed after one service and talked to people, God gave it to me tenfold. More than a church home, God showed me more of Himself, the Bible as a story not of self-help tips but as THE story of redemption and hope…for all nations. I have gone to Turkey and South Africa with this church. I have led a small group and been a part of one. I have grown through studies from Brooklyn Tabernacle to Beth Moore to John Stott to a relationship study Jess and I put together. I have seen a small Saturday prayer gathering turn into a big one. I have prayed with my small group girls on the busy intersection of state and randolph. Many laughs and prayers over brunches and Potbelly’s lunches with dear women in my life. God brought me up to Albany Park and showed me deep friendship with two women who were starting over in the U.S. from the Middle East. I have seen the faithful move of a couple people turn into something more in this neighborhood. And then I met a man in Tennessee. 

I am hopeful for what this next part of life brings. I can’t wait to start it with my almost husband. As I look back on what brought me to this point, I beyond grateful for last five years.  God is doing great things through Park, and I will forever love this church.

CALLING

I am called to the city. I am called to a people group that is not like my own. That is what God taught me on Wednesday. It was a big day.

The day started with John Piper preaching on Ephesians 3 in which he said and asked the 4,000+ if we could all agree to this statement: “As as Church, we care about all suffering, especially eternal suffering.” Other highlights were: A woman, Mrs. Little, who’s husband was killed while he was providing medical care with 5 other people in Afghanistan, was murdered in August. Some of you probably heard the news. She spoke of his faith and his deep love of these people…in a remote village where they had to hike on a treacherous path. I think it hit me. That’s not a comfortable situation for anyone. No one wants to hike through the pouring rain, with nasty blisters on their feet, no running water or flushable toilets and have to eat food that is not great tasting (at least at first). But he, and others, were drawn because of their love of Christ. It’s that simple. Their comfort really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and they would rather have the opportunity to be Christ’s ambassadors in places where it was difficult to get to, than to not go their and have Christ be absent.

Another gentleman shared his experience about what the Church has done wrong in sharing the gospel with Christ in the Muslim world. I know me and other volunteers were very much challenged by his 5-minute explanation. Basically, mistakes can be summed up in three main points: 1) Viewing Islam as monolithic; that it is one thing all throughout history 2) Refusing to leave 20th century and mission movement it spawned 3) Conversion instead of discipleship and wanting grand “conversion” stories instead of recognizing the reality of the struggling church in the Middle East.

More discussion was had about what this guy said in later sessions. I heard from people who are in the church in these areas and how they are sharing in their communities, and it was so interesting!! I will have to share with some of you in person about some of what they said.

I also got to attend a lunch session where Tim Keller and Michael Ramsden discussed being salt and light at work. Tim Keller made a couple points. 1) Don’t be sleazy. 2) Don’t be ruthless 3) Don’t be stingy. 4) Be unflappable. 5) Be spiritually grounded. What hit me though was that as Christian, I should be the best at what I do. That’s really important, for credibility and for others. And I should surround myself with people who are awesome at what they do - that we look out for each other, and that I (because I am not stingy) stick up for my team members and even take the blame for their mistakes when necessary.

I have so much in my head right now, and I can’t even explain. The Lord is continuing to show me that we are all one body, with many parts, which all have different roles. More on that later.